26. The Rights of a Child to the Parent

 
Many children live with an unfortunate delusion about their parents, which causes them great harm. They believe they can place the responsibility for their own earthly existence on their parents. One often hears the remark: “Of course, my parents must provide for me; after all, they brought me into the world. It is not my fault that I am here.”
 
Nothing could be more foolish. Everyone is on this earth either by their own request or through their own fault! Parents merely give the possibility for incarnation, nothing more. Every incarnated soul must be grateful that it has been given this opportunity!
 
The soul of a child is merely a guest amongst its parents. In this fact alone lies enough explanation to understand that a child cannot, in reality, claim any rights against its parents! It has no spiritual rights over them! Earthly rights, however, have only arisen from the purely earthly, social order established by the State so that it does not have to assume any obligations itself.
 
Spiritually, the child is a complete personality! Aside from the earthly body, which is necessary as a tool for activity on this coarse material earth, it has received nothing from its parents. Thus, it has only received a dwelling that the already independent soul can use.
 
Through procreation, however, parents assume the obligation to care for and maintain this dwelling they have provided, until the soul occupying it is capable of providing for itself. The appropriate time for this is indicated by the natural development of the body itself. What happens beyond that is a gift from the parents.
 
Children should therefore finally stop relying on their parents as soon as possible and rather think about standing on their own feet. It is, of course, irrelevant whether they are active within or outside the parental home. But there must be activity, which must not consist in amusements and the fulfilment of so-called social obligations, but rather of a definite, real and useful fulfilment of duty, such that the activity in question would have to be carried out by another person specially designated for it, if the child no longer performs this work. Only then can one speak of a useful existence on earth that leads to the spiritual maturity!

If a child carries out such a task in the family home, regardless of whether it is of male or female gender, they should also receive from the parents the same remuneration that would be paid to a stranger employed for this purpose. In other words, the child must be regarded and treated as a truly independent individual in their fulfilment of duty. 

If special bonds of love, trust and friendship weave between parents and children, this is all the more beautiful for both parties; for then this is a voluntary bond arising from inner conviction and is therefore all the more valuable! Then it is genuine and will endure a bond even beyond this life, for mutual advancement and joy. However, family compulsion and family customs are unhealthy and reprehensible as soon as a certain age limit of the children is exceeded.
 
Of course, there are no so-called rights of kinship, on which especially aunts, uncles and cousins of all kinds, and whatever else tries to present itself as relatives, so often identify themselves. These rights of kinship are a reprehensible abuse, which must always be repugnant to an inwardly a self‑contained individual.

Through traditions this has unfortunately become such a habit that, as a rule, people do not even attempt to think differently and quietly submit to it, albeit with reluctance. But whoever once dares to take the small step of thinking freely about it finds that all this, from the depths of their soul, appears so ridiculous and so disgusting that they turn away indignantly from the presumptions created thereby. 
 
Such unnatural things must be done away with once and for all! As soon as a fresh, healthy breed of humanity awakens, such abuses will no longer be tolerated, because they contradict to all common sense. Nothing really great could ever arise from such artificial distortions of natural life; humanity remains far too unfree in them. It is in these seemingly trivial matters that tremendous bondage lies. It is here freedom must begin, with individuals tearing themselves away from unworthy customs! True freedom lies only in the right recognition of duty, which is inseparably connected with voluntary fulfilment of duty! The fulfilment of duty alone gives rights! The same applies to children, who can only gain rights from the most faithful fulfilment of their duties. –—
 
There is, however, a number of strict obligations for all parents that are not related to children’s rights.
 
Every adult must be aware of what procreation actually entails. Previous carelessness and thoughtlessness, as well as the false notions that have prevailed up to now, have had disastrous consequences.

Make it clear to yourselves that in the nearest beyond, a great number of souls already stand ready, waiting for an opportunity for reincarnation on earth. For the most part these are human souls which, held fast by threads of karma, seek some form of release in a new earthly life.
 
As soon as the opportunity arises for them, they attach themselves to places where an act of procreation has taken place, in order to wait and observe the development of the new human body that will become their dwelling place. While waiting, ethereal threads spin out from the young body to the soul, which stubbornly remains in close proximity to the expectant mother, and vice versa. When a certain maturity is reached, these threads then serve as a bridge that lets the foreign soul from the beyond to enter the young body, which it immediately claims as its own.

Thus, a foreign guest moves in, who, through its karma, can cause educators much grief ! A foreign guest! What an uncomfortable thought! People should always bear this in mind and never forget that they can participate in the selection among the waiting souls, provided they do not frivolously let the right time pass.

Indeed, incarnation is subject to a Law of Attraction of the Homogeneous Species. However, it is not absolutely necessary for the homogeneity of one of the parents to serve as a pole for this; it can sometimes be some another person who is frequently near the expectant mother.

How much misery can be averted as soon as people understand the whole process correctly and consciously concern themselves with it. But as it is, they frolic carelessly, attend games and dances, and host parties. They do not trouble themselves much with what is being prepared during this extremely important period, which consequently intervenes powerfully later in their entire life.

Consciously, in prayer, in which ardent wishing always lies at the foundation, they should direct many things, to mitigate evils and reinforce the good. The foreign guests who then enter their home as a child would thereby become such that they remain welcome in every respect. There is much talk about “ prenatal education”, usually with a half‑understanding or misunderstanding of certain effects that become outwardly noticeable.
 
As is often the case, however, the conclusions drawn by humans from observations are wrong as well. There is no opportunity for education before birth, but there is indeed an unconditional possibility of influencing the attraction, if this is done at the right time and with the right seriousness! This is a distinction that has more far-reaching consequences than prenatal education could ever achieve.

Anyone who has now become clear about this, yet still thoughtlessly coalesce in a reckless manner, deserves nothing other than for a human spirit to force its way into their circle and bring them only unrest and perhaps even harm.
 
For a spiritually free human, procreation should be nothing else than proof of their readiness to receive a foreign human spirit as a permanent guest into the family, giving it an opportunity to redeem itself and to mature on earth. Only where on both sides there is an earnest wish for this purpose should the opportunity for procreation arise. If you now consider parents and children solely from this light, much will change of its own accord. Mutual treatment, upbringing, everything will take on a different and more serious foundation than has been customary in many families until now. There will be more consideration and more respect on both sides. A sense of independence and a striving for responsibility will become evident, which will, as a result, bring in its train the natural social advancement of a nation. Children, however, will soon forget arrogating rights for themselves, which have never existed.—